For your lady friend, I can combine both of her requests into one little package;
Ragnarok Online. It's a MMO for the PC with graphics very akin to
Secret of Mana or
Breath of Fire. There are no forced battles, you can choose to do or not do quests, and it takes quite a long time to max out your character's stats and levels. The game is really big on item collection and gaining special abilities through levelling. The game has a huge item-creation system that can definitely keep you busy if you're looking to make that uber item you want. While the game itself is Pay-to-Play, there are plenty of people who have set up free servers as well. If you're/she's really interested, I can send you a link to the site that I use. They keep very close to the legit game.
As for your personal requests, games in the
Shining series are still being made to this day. The newest game,
Shining Force EXA was just released for the PS2. In fact, they even remade the original
Shining Force for the GBA under the name
Shining Force: Resurrection of Dark Dragon which added three new characters and the ability to promote two existing characters who originally couldn't be promoted.