Flirting = Cheating .... Opinions?

[XERQ GRANITE]

Alright, here's the thing, I've always grown up knowing that if your in a relationship and the other person is off flirting around, thats cheating (its not as bad as if they went off n fucked some other person but its still cheating none-the-less), my parents know this, i know this, and all my friends around here know this, but a lotta people i know online keep saying its not, so i need other opinions, and please give reasons why you think it is or isnt THANX ^_^

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---------- Post added at 07:06 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:54 PM ----------

Originally Posted by XERQ GRANITE

if your in a relationship and the other person is off flirting around, thats cheating

I diddn't mean that as in its only cheating if its the other person, its cheating if EITHER person does

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[TrakMastaTom]

No it isn't. Stop being over protective.

Edit: Sorry, I forgot to explain why.

Flirting is a matter of perception. What may be flirting to you may not be to the next person. Plus, just because someone is flirting doesn't mean they care about that person.

[XERQ GRANITE]

Originally Posted by TrakMastaTom

No it isn't. Stop being over protective.

Give one reason why its not -_-

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---------- Post added at 07:18 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:16 PM ----------

Originally Posted by TrakMastaTom

Plus, just because someone is flirting doesn't mean they care about that person.

Well ya, but the same can be said about sex, just cause you fuck someone dont mean you care about them, you sayin that's not cheating either?? -_-

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[TrakMastaTom]

I went back and edited my post, re-read it.

[OldTimer]

Some flirting is harmless. While other times it is done with intent. If you respect your lady you won't openly do it infront of her. It also depends how jealous you are. Do you get upset when someone flirts with her? I honestly do not because I know she loves me and it is meaningless. If she plays back, she still comes home with me every night so I wouldn't care.

She is French by the way and her english isn't perffect. But She calls everyone 'honey' or 'dear' and some people would see that as flirting but she is translating her french slang into english. ma cheri = my dear/my honey

[TrakMastaTom]

Saying flirting is cheating is like saying hugging is cheating. Flirting is a thing that FRIENDS do. I flirt with my girl friends all the time.

Here is another situation. When you are hanging with your friends, you make fun of them, right? Why? Because you sincerely think they are idiots? No, because it's friendly banter.

I have a feeling you are making a big deal out of nothing.

[OldTimer]

I agree

[XERQ GRANITE]

Originally Posted by TrakMastaTom

Flirting is a thing that FRIENDS do.

Flirting is not something friends do, ive never flirted in my life, so idk wtf ure talkin about -_-

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[TrakMastaTom]

Originally Posted by XERQ GRANITE

ive never flirted in my life

This I doubt, but whatever you say.

I don't know the specifics in your particular case, but in most cases flirting is completely harmless.

Jealousy is a weak emotion that shows a lack of confidence.

Also keep in mind I say all of this with love. I'm trying to help, not offend.

---------- Post added at 08:46 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:45 PM ----------

Originally Posted by TrakMastaTom

Here is another situation. When you are hanging with your friends, you make fun of them, right? Why? Because you sincerely think they are idiots? No, because it's friendly banter.

Also, I still think this point still stands.

[XERQ GRANITE]

Originally Posted by TrakMastaTom

This I doubt, but whatever you say.

I knew you would, no-one believes that there are people who don't flirt but i honestly never have wheather you believe it or not -_-

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[Dudebro]

Flirting isn't cheating depending on the circumstances. Like TMT and Oldtimer said it depends on intent. If someone is gonna really cheat(like sex) then the flirting isn't even important anyways, it's gonna happen one way or another.

In the end it all comes down to trust. I know it's very hard to trust another person with your heart but if you don't you'll never really be happy. You have to let your guard down and accept that it's out of your control, if they cheat then you deal with it. You can't just assume any flirting is cheating, it's really not.

In most peoples eyes I'm a flirty person. To me it's just my personality, that and I get along really well with women anyways. I'm sure my gf doesn't like it but she trusts me(as far as I know).

[Kong]

Do you really think you are the one and only person she will ever be attracted to for the rest of her life? Or that she is the only person you will ever like? It is natural. It is normal. You are both going to like other people. Deal with it. Don't repress it.

If you tell her she can't flirt with other people then it will build up in her head. She will think, "hmm, I wonder if I am more compatible with Joe Schmoe." Likely not. But if she doesn't have a chance to find out for herself that you are better than the rest then eventually she will break up just so she can find out. She might end up regretting it and missing you but the damage will be done. Let her find out for herself that you deserve her.

Cheating = lying about your feelings and actions.
You can flirt, kiss, date, have sex with whoever you want and it is not cheating. Lying about it is cheating. If you can't tell her what you are doing it then it is cheating.

If you are allowed to pursue all relationships then one of two things will happen.
1. You will find someone better and you will break up.
2. You will not find someone better and you will stay together.

If you are not allowed to pursue all relationships then one of two things will happen.
1. You will be curious if someone is better and you will break up.
2. You will be curious if someone is better but stay together even though you secretly resent each other.

I think this song is really good advice for anyone under 22.
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RNc45FTenhg"]YouTube - Nada Surf Popular[/ame]

[XERQ GRANITE]

Well, I'm not trying to prove anything to my girl or nothin, i trust her and she believes the same way i do, that flirting IS cheating, i was simply trying to find out other people's opinions on it, and obviously i found out exactly what i was trying to find out, TODAY'S society believes it not to be cheating, however, my morals and principles are way before my time, my beliefs are very old school, that's just the way i am and i found the perfect girl for me cause she see's it all the same way i do, so i guess we're the perfect match ^_^ I chose the PERFECT fionce` ^_^

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---------- Post added at 10:47 PM ---------- Previous post was at 10:45 PM ----------

Originally Posted by Kong

You can flirt, kiss, date, have sex with whoever you want and it is not cheating. Lying about it is cheating. If you can't tell her what you are doing it then it is cheating.

Both me n my gf say ure on crack for believing that, lol

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[Squall]

I believe there is some truth to what Kong said. Cheating is always something you don't want to admit to, so therefore you won't until its too late. However, i believe he is being too lenient. I personally don't consider flirting cheating, as it's practically my way of life However, i can understand why you believe what you do, but we must agree to disagree in this scenario.

[XERQ GRANITE]

Originally Posted by Kong

Do you really think you are the one and only person she will ever be attracted to for the rest of her life? Or that she is the only person you will ever like? It is natural. It is normal. You are both going to like other people. Deal with it. Don't repress it.

No we're not...... or at least I'm not, ever since ive been with her i havent even glanced at another girl in that way, not because of the fact that its cheating (don't argue with me, i'm not finished), but because i've honestly havent found anyone as or more attractive than her...... im not gonna lie and say i havent found them attractive at all, but there is no one in this world i'll ever like more than my beautiful snuggledove ^_^

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[justinm26]

in a way i kinda believe that if you're not married nothing you do is considered cheating. i'm a weird fucked up person tho so what i believe may not count.

[Dudebro]

Originally Posted by XERQ GRANITE

TODAY'S society believes it not to be cheating, however, my morals and principles are way before my time, my beliefs are very old school, that's just the way i am and i found the perfect girl for me cause she see's it all the same way i do

Well that's fine you guys but I expect it will cause problems down the line when the situation comes up and it will. You both need to trust each other more and realize that most flirting is harmless.

Both me n my gf say ure on crack for believing that, lol

Kong was talking about a more open, non tradional marriage/relationship. I realize that this situation is impossible for people like you and your gf but it's not crazy. It requires a lot of trust and understanding.

[Kong]

I think there was misunderstanding about what I was saying.

I did not mean you can have sex with whoever you want as long as you do not lie about it.

I meant you both should state what your boundaries are. If you agree to those boundries then breaking them is cheating.

Some people might say you can not think about someone else. Some might say you can not flirt. Some might say you can not have sex with others. Some might say you can not date others. Where ever the line is drawn, if you agree to it then crossing it is cheating.

It sounds like you two have drawn the line at flirting, so for you flirting is cheating.

I suggest giving it a few months and then talking again about where you draw the line. Do that often. Sometimes you might want to make the line closer, sometimes farther and sometimes you might not agree at all. That is fine and to be expected. If you expect to see your 50th wedding anniversary then you need to learn that you will be changing your mind about a lot of things. In all directions.


Me and my GF have agreed that our only rule is we must be 100% honest at all times. No white lies. No making the other person wonder, "If I could just think of the right question to ask then I could find out what they are hiding."

I know she is not hiding anything from me. I know how important I am to her. I know it would take a very amazing person to steal her from me. I love her enough that if there was a person better than me for her then I would want her to find him. She can do anything and I do not have to worry that she is betraying me. She does not have to sacrifice part of herself so I can feel secure.

[sezthemank]

Im a massive flirt and a massive cheat.
I should not be trusted.

I actully hate myself for it.

I think flirting to a extent is harmless.

If you cheat more than once than there must be a serious problem in your relationship.

[justinm26]

Originally Posted by sezthemank

Im a massive flirt and a massive cheat.
I should not be trusted.

I actully hate myself for it.

I think flirting to a extent is harmless.

If you cheat more than once than there must be a serious problem in your relationship.

good to know.

[sezthemank]

I dont know why I said that to be honest.

I only have cheated Because Iv been Cheated on.

Like I had a friend I didnt see for years
I met her in the pub and brought her back to mine
I drank to much Vodka and fucked off to bed and left Lisa and Marcus in the Livingroom

He then has the cheek to stroll into bed hours later shouting and roaring at me for nothing.

I then found out he fucked her on the couch

I was hurt just dissapointed and disscusted

So I went back to the same pub and seen a old male friend of mine,
Told him about what happened and he jokingly asked
"Oh do you wanna sneaky one then?" (he was Joking)
But I turned around and said
"Hey why not"
I went back to his and fuck him

When Marcus found out about this
I got beat the shit out of
When It was his stupid fucking basterd arse who started It

Oh I finished with him today
8 fucking years of my life that Cunt has took
I just wish I done It earler!

P.S
Yeah 8 years
Yeah Im 22

[Kong]

Congrats on getting rid of him. Don't look back.
You were 16 and he was like 35?

[sezthemank]

It is going to be very hard but I need to work forward
Like I mensioned before in a different thread he says shit like hes gonna kill his self and stuff
That is what makes me stay most of the time

Im actully going to a womans Refugee for a few weeks to sort my head out
then Im getting my locks changed and stuff.

I need to move on before this love-hate relationship continues.

[Dudebro]

Originally Posted by Kong

Congrats on getting rid of him. Don't look back.
You were 16 and he was like 35?

Actually wouldn't she be fourteen eight years ago?

[sezthemank]

Originally Posted by Dudebro

Actually wouldn't she be fourteen eight years ago?

Yep