I'm a Bad Person :'(.................

[Kugyince]

I'll judge him, either way.

[XERQ GRANITE]

Originally Posted by stevencassidy13

you raped a girl
you molested a child
you banged a goat
any of these?

None of those, but "Molested a child" comes the closest.................. *GULP*....................... My fionce` is kindaaaaaa............................... underage :/ ................................... but the thing is though, I aint a chomo err nothin, things just kinda............ happened, y'know?? You can't help who you fall in love with, you just DO, y'know?? ............. Part of me feels like a horrible person for letting it happen n everything, but part of me feels like it's meant to be............... I love her & she loves me and I think that's all that should matter, and it's not like we're doing anything we shouldn't, I already told her "Nothing sexual until your 18" and she understands this (even though she still trys to start stuff sometimes, and succeeds over the phone every now and again, but that's over the phone, it aint like we're actually touching eachother :/) and I DO plan to marry her n everything so idk what the problem is, but I still know it's wrong though (at least acording to society :/)................... but ya, I hope most of you can understand this matter and won't judge me for it, cause like I said, I just want peeple I can talk to about it :/ I really DO love her and I diddn't mean for any of this, it just kinda happened

*X to the E-R-Q GRANITE*

---------- Post added at 08:08 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:01 PM ----------

Originally Posted by sezthemank

Oh I finished with him today
8 fucking years of my life that Cunt has took
I just wish I done It earler!

P.S
Yeah 8 years
Yeah Im 22

This is why I figure you'd hate me for it because you went through the same thing (kinda) :/

*X to the E-R-Q GRANITE*

[Slime Slayer]

how old is she, four?

[OldTimer]

I was nineteen with one girl that was 16 and I got in shit for that.

What are the exact ages and what are the laws in your state? I know some are different.

Going to jail for being a skinner is a very scary thought. I've seen what happens and it ain't pretty. They usually put them in lock down or 'seg' for their own safety.

[XERQ GRANITE]

Originally Posted by stevencassidy13

how old is she, four?

No not THAT young, lol ......................... 13

*X to the E-R-Q GRANITE*

---------- Post added at 08:14 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:12 PM ----------

Originally Posted by OldTimer

I was nineteen with one girl that was 16 and I got in shit for that.

See, that's only a 3 year difference, that aint too bad in society's eyes, but mine's a 7 year difference

*X to the E-R-Q GRANITE*

---------- Post added at 08:16 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:14 PM ----------

Originally Posted by Timber Wolf

not this, "I'll post it tomorrow"

When I say I'll post it tomorrow I mean it, I aint a liar (for the most part) if I say I'm gonna do something, I'm GONNA do it

*X to the E-R-Q GRANITE*

[OldTimer]

whoa... 13 is pretty young but that's my opinion.

I have a hard time imagining your compatibility.

Break off the relationship and stay out of jail. They will fuckin eat you alive in there for that shit depending on if it's just 'contributing to a deliquenqency of a minor' or the 'other one'. Either way that's why there are laws on this shit. That is not love.

[XERQ GRANITE]

Well her parents have been ok with it, but then her mom found out about a lot of stuff that she did in her past (before we got together) and a lot of stuff about her, and she thinks it's cause of ME and thinks that I'M a bad influence on her so she's not letting us see or talk to eachother untill she's 18 (possibly 16), and I'm waiting for her until then, I've been counting the days since her mom said that n today is day 19 .................. It suxx though, her mom thinks I'M the bad influence when I'VE been the one helping her with different things, I'VE been the one helping her control her prevotedness, I'VE been the one helping her control her blood/sugar level (she's diabetic), I'VE been doing everything for her and treating her like a queen and her mom thinks it's MY fault?!? But I DO love her and idc how long I hafta wait, she WILL be the one I marry ^_^

*X to the E-R-Q GRANITE*

[OldTimer]

It'll be intresting to see everyone's point on this.

Listen to her mom. She being the legal guardian she has every right to 'protect' her daughter in any way she sees fit.

[XERQ GRANITE]

Originally Posted by OldTimer

It'll be intresting to see everyone's point on this.

Listen to her mom. She being the legal guardian she has every right to 'protect' her daughter in any way she sees fit.

I understand this and I am listening to her and waiting, but she's been finding ways to sneak online n stuff to talk to me n I'm worried she's gonna get caught she's already been caught sneaking onto the phone n talking to me and she got her phone taken away and her mom n grandparents have been watching the house phone to make sure she doesn't use that, and when her mom gave her internet back she got caught talking to me then so she got that taken back away, but she's still finding more ways to talk to me, and I'm not complaining about it or anything, I love talking to her, but I'm just worried about her getting caught again .............. Her dad's still koo with me (for the most part), and he still lets her talk to me when she's at his place (her parents are divorced), but her mom won't let her have anything to do with me though .............. I've been leaving comments on her MySpace page every night since all of this and telling her how each day is goes (even though she almost never gets to check it anymore ), I even wrote this song for her on Day 3:

Originally Posted by XERQ GRANITE

"Day 3, Stay with me, I'll come save you, We'll be free
Free to roam this world together, You will have my heart forever
Baby, I miss you, And I know you miss me too
One day things will all get better, And we'll look back on this letter
And laugh, Till we cry, And we'll love, Till we die

Now fly up with me to the sky, Where we can stay and there we'll lie
And share the best of times we've had, And I'll never let things go bad
So please stop crying, I'm with you, And here's just what I'm gonna do
I'll turn your frown right upside down, And we can turn this world around
And laugh, Till we cry, And we'll love, Till we die

I know you miss me babe, I really miss you too
I don't know what I'd do, If had I ever lost you
I need you here with me, You need me there with you
We are so far apart and I am lost without you

And then we'll laugh, Till we cry, And we will love, Till we die
And I don't care, What they say, I need you by my side every single day

Where we can laugh, And we can cry, Where our love, Will never die"

I plan to turn it into a real song one day, it's called "Day 3" ^_^ but ya, for anyone who's interested in keeping up on our status or even just interested in adding me as a friend on MySpace, my URL is:

MySpace - XERQ GRANITE - 20 - Male - Los Mo, California - MySpace.com/LBMeganXGRob4EVE

I post every big thing that happens in my life on there ^_^

*X to the E-R-Q GRANITE*

[Slime Slayer]

well xerq, your not a bad person but what your doing is wrong. you should stop all contact with her immediatly. those laws are in place to protect children from situations like this. at 13 years old her brain is feeble, and cannot have misguided twenty-year olds manipulating it. she doesnt love you, but she simply playing your twisted game, but you already know all that, dont you?

[Dudebro]

Yeah this isn't right Xerq. Regardless of how you may feel she isn't ready to date a 20year old.

[Kong]

I think XERQ is having trouble with this and is really wanting to hear everyone's honest opinion.

It was very hard for him to ask but he did so the least you can do is answer.

He is getting conflicting info, his body is telling him this is right. society and perhaps his conscience is telling him it is wrong. His friends and family told him it is wrong but after he tells them he is in love they back down and say well if it is love then it is ok.

I already answered in PM. I told him if he asked publicly then I would post my answer publicly but I want some others to answer first so there is no chance of my pre-written answer influencing yours.

@Xerq, what state do you live in? How long have you two been together? How did you meet? Do you kiss? Any nudity? Any drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, porn or school skipping? If she does any of those in your presence that is contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

As I understand it here is the situation
20 year old boy.
13 year old girl.
Engaged.
Both say they are in love like never before.
No sex.
But they do have phone sex.
At first friends and family said it was a bad idea.
After explaining it was true love they said ok do it.
Then the girl got in some trouble and her mom said no more. Everyone else still says game on.
Girl sneaks online to talk.

Is that correct?

[XERQ GRANITE]

Originally Posted by Kong

@Xerq, what state do you live in? How long have you two been together? How did you meet? Do you kiss? Any nudity? Any drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, porn or school skipping? If she does any of those in your presence that is contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

1. I live in Cali, She lives in Ohio (I can already see a lot of you commenting on this much :/)
2. 3 months (I've already been told by my friends n stuff that thats not long enough to get engaged, but its the longest relationship I've ever had so it feels long enough :/)
3. MapleStory, about 3 and a half years ago
4. No
5. Weeeellllllll............ She kept asking me to send a pic of........... something........... and I kept telling her no, it's a bad idea, but she kept on bringing it up so I told her that I would if she sent one of her, soooooooooooo.................. ya, that's how that went down :/
6. For her?? She doesn't like/do drugs, She doesn't drink (but she plans to in the future :/), she hates stogerettes, she's been looking at porn for god knows how many years now (her mind's been corrupted loooooong before we ever met), and she doesn't skip school...... For me on the other hand, only if you count weed as a drug (which I personally don't, it's an herb), Sometimes when I'm in the mood to get drunk, I hate stoges but its an addiction :/, I haven't looked at porn or even glanced at another girl (in that way) ever since we got together, and I haven't been to school since 8th grade, but I plan to go back for my GED though :/

*X to the E-R-Q GRANITE*

Originally Posted by Kong

As I understand it here is the situation
20 year old boy.
13 year old girl.
Engaged.
Both say they are in love like never before.
No sex.
But they do have phone sex.
At first friends and family said it was a bad idea.
After explaining it was true love they said ok do it.
Then the girl got in some trouble and her mom said no more. Everyone else still says game on.
Girl sneaks online to talk.

Is that correct?

Pretty much :/ I know this post is gonna make me look like a total douche though

*X to the E-R-Q GRANITE*

---------- Post added at 09:57 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:00 PM ----------

Originally Posted by OldTimer

Break off the relationship and stay out of jail.

But is it still wrong even if I stay with her and don't do anything for the next 4 and a half years?? :/

*X to the E-R-Q GRANITE*

[OldTimer]

Originally Posted by XERQ GRANITE

But is it still wrong even if I stay with her and don't do anything for the next 4 and a half years?? :/

Yes. In my opinion and probably the states.Be thankful the mom is going to the cops. She has every right to.

[XERQ GRANITE]

Originally Posted by OldTimer

Be thankful the mom is going to the cops. She has every right to.

I know, I am, but the thing is though, if I just wait the 4 n a half years then everything will be ok and it won't be against the law and then we can get married n everything as planned and have a nice long happy relationship for the rest of our lifes :/

*X to the E-R-Q GRANITE*

[OldTimer]

The pictures you sent on the net could get you in trouble with out even kissing her.

State law in California is 18 years for consent.
Ohio is 16 years old for consent.

You even seen Dateline?

I am going to be blunt because I can be on the internet.

How could you develop feelings for someone of that age and that distance away? It's a fantasy... not love.

Are you that lonely/shy that you can't find a relationship more appropriate? She will also grow/mature too while you 'wait' for her. Don't count on her sticking around even if she says so now. She's a kid. How many crushes, bfs does the average women have before she marries?

[XERQ GRANITE]

Originally Posted by OldTimer

How could you develop feelings for someone of that age and that distance away? It's a fantasy... not love.

Y'know, the 1st thought that came to mind after I read this is what my mom told me about all this, "Your not in love with her, your in love with the thought of being in love" :/........... I sometimes wonder if that's true but it feels like love though, I mean, I've never connected with someone this well and I feel more for her than I've ever felt for anyone in my life

*X to the E-R-Q GRANITE*

---------- Post added at 11:06 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:05 PM ----------

Originally Posted by OldTimer

You even seen Dateline?

Yes I have, it's not one of those

*X to the E-R-Q GRANITE*

---------- Post added at 11:09 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:06 PM ----------

Originally Posted by OldTimer

The pictures you sent on the net could get you in trouble with out even kissing her.

I know, even after I sent them I kept thinking "Aww fuck, this is gonna get me in a shitload of trouble l8er on down the road" :/ Especially cause she's not careful with them, she accidently leaves them up sometimes and almost gets caught by her mom I shoulda never even took those, I'm a horrible person

*X to the E-R-Q GRANITE*

---------- Post added at 11:11 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:09 PM ----------

Originally Posted by OldTimer

She will also grow/mature too while you 'wait' for her. Don't count on her sticking around even if she says so now.

*SIGH*, I know, this has been one of my biggest fears for a while now

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---------- Post added at 11:15 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:11 PM ----------

Originally Posted by OldTimer

Are you that lonely/shy that you can't find a relationship more appropriate?

I diddn't mean for any of this, I know it's wrong ........... I sometimes think maybe the reason I decided to say yes and go out with her might've like subconsiously been the fact that she was talking about killing herself

[Kong]

Why did you drop out of 8th grade? I dropped out of 10th.

Originally Posted by XERQ GRANITE

1. I live in Cali, She lives in Ohio (I can already see a lot of you commenting on this much :/)

This is a big piece of the puzzle that you left out. Have you met in person? If yes, how, when and how often?

Love at first sight is really just infatuation. Everything you don't know yet you are imagining is perfect. It is normal to do this but it is just a mind trick. It happens much more when you are young and it happens even more when your relationship is just online.

The photo is child porn. That means if you are caught with it you can get in serious trouble.

I looked up statutory rape laws in California and Ohio.

Crossing state borders to have underage sex is a federal offense.

You can go to jail for up to 5 years, be convicted of a felony, and pay a fine.

In CA if you get caught having oral sex with her after you turn 21 then you will have to register as a sex offender which means everytime you move for the rest of your life you will have to tell your neighbors about it.

In Ohio you have to wait until she is 17. In CA 18.

There is a huge list of people in CA that are legally required to tell the police if they find out including teachers, doctors, nurses, coaches, psychiatrists, dog catchers, priests, undertakers, and many others. If you have to talk to someone talk to family, friends or us. Not your guidance councilor.

Originally Posted by XERQ GRANITE

But is it still wrong even if I stay with her and don't do anything for the next 4 and a half years?? :/

I think you are missing a point. It is wrong for you to put your life on hold for years. Dating her now will take her innocence away from her too early. Waiting will take experience away from you. Both are bad. Do neither.


I spent age 16 to 21 in love with a girl that I never got. I put all of my energy, hopes, desires, time and money into her. She led me on and made me think that I was always just an inch away from winning her. I didn't have eyes for anyone else that entire time. She wasn't even that great. What kept me chasing her was always thinking I was almost there. I always thought if I just gave it one more week we would be together. I regret it. Don't do that to yourself. She in unattainable. Walk away. Fight a battle you can win.

[sezthemank]

Ok being in this situation myself i think the main thing is how old she is, in the head.
When I was 13 i was allready grown up, i lied to my ex about being 16
I actully met him in the pub.

The scarey thing was how constenly worried I was that someone would tell the police.
I didnt want the man I loved going to jail because of my lies.

If you havent had sex yet, you really havent done nothing wrong
(I think, laws may be different over there)
But just be waery, dont tell too many people.

also take your time and dont rush
you might just be infactuated with her, not actully in love.

but to me it sounds that you really like each other.
Just take it slow and tread carfully

dont tell to many people too,
you dont know who you can trust these days.

[XERQ GRANITE]

Originally Posted by Kong

Why did you drop out of 8th grade?

My mom has MS and it got really bad just as i was going into 8th grade so I dropped out to help her :/

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---------- Post added at 11:34 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:30 PM ----------

Originally Posted by Kong

This is a big piece of the puzzle that you left out. Have you met in person?

No we had planned to but her mom (back when she was koo with me) said to wait to meet untill she turned 16, but after all that crap happened she said 18, maybe 16 if she sees fit

*X to the E-R-Q GRANITE*

[sezthemank]

Originally Posted by Kong

Walk away. Fight a battle you can win.

Kong is right
Get out of it while you can
I regret getting with my ex so early

when she gets older she will proberley leave you for fact that she would feel she hasnt "lived" yet.
thats how i feel, and now at 22 i am free to do what the fuck I want!
yeeeahhhh babbby!
boy am i having a balllll!

live your life, save all that love shit for later on.

[XERQ GRANITE]

Originally Posted by Kong

It is wrong for you to put your life on hold for years.

My life's already pretty much been on hold for quite a while now, I don't see how that makes any difference :/ (not to be contradictory err nuthin, but it has :/)

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---------- Post added at 11:39 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:36 PM ----------

Originally Posted by sezthemank

Ok being in this situation myself i think the main thing is how old she is, in the head.

Well, she's like 15-16 in the head, and according to alotta peeple i know, so am I :/ I know that doesn't change anything, I 'm just saying :/

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[sezthemank]

No we had planned to but her mom (back when she was koo with me) said to wait to meet untill she turned 16, but after all that crap happened she said 18, maybe 16 if she sees fit

Right get out of this now seriously
the "love" will proberley fade away anyway

...look at me and Justin :/

*Crys* he dont love me no more *continues crying*

and also again
get rid of the pics she has sent ya.
If they get found you are in serious trouble

then you wouldnt be with her anyway
because you would be in jail with all the rapist and proper child molesters

[Kong]

I don't think you committed a crime by sending nude pictures to her. Well, delinquency of a minor maybe but I think that is just a fine.

Delete the picture you have of her and you probably will be legally safe. Don't save a copy.

If this ends bad don't be surprised if she tries to hurt you by showing the picture to her mom. I wouldn't be surprised if she is subconsciously trying to "accidentally" let her mom see it right now.

Originally Posted by XERQ GRANITE

"Your not in love with her, your in love with the thought of being in love" :/........... I sometimes wonder if that's true

I guarantee you it is 100% true.

Originally Posted by XERQ GRANITE

I sometimes think maybe the reason I decided to say yes and go out with her might've like subconsiously been the fact that she was talking about killing herself

Her situation is not your responsibility. You do not have to save her. You should not sacrifice yourself to save her and you probably can't save her. You are probably not going to change her decision either way.

Sez's ex was keeping her around by threatening suicide. He was totally wrong for doing it. She is young and less responsible than him but still she shouldn't be manipulating you with threats.

If you think she is serious about suicide then try calling SuicideHotlines.com - When You Feel You Can't Go On -- Let Someone Know Your Pain. anonymously tell them the situation and ask for advice. FYI They probably have very good caller id. I imagine they have more knowledge and experience of this whole thing than any of us or you.

[XERQ GRANITE]

Originally Posted by sezthemank

save all that love shit for later on.

Well, all my life I've always hated the thought of "love" and "dating" n stuff, and I used to always tell everyone that I would "have nothing to do with any of that crap!", but at the age of 18 I actually tried out dating n everything and I've gone through soooo many horrible relationships in that short amount of time, and ever since then I've been trying to find "The One", y'know?? That's all I really want in life is someone I can love and will love me for who I am But this time it really does feel like I found that someone though, I've been with her longer than anyone else I've ever dated and I feel sooo much more for her than anyone else, y'know?? I really do feel like I love her and I wish the age difference wasn't so major

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