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A recient and rapidly growing cult over the past years has become the "Church of
Captain Falcon". They preach that if they follow the ways of the Falcon Punch,
Kick, and Yes, one will become enlightened, and acheive eternal peace.
The cult even goes as far to label Captain Falcon as their savior:
( Click to show/hide )
Outside one of the Church of Captain Falcon's House of Worship:
( Click to show/hide )
This raises the question, is worship of a fictional character wrong?
Although it's relatively unknown who was the single individual person who
conceived this cult, it isn't the first cult to worship video games. The first was
established in late 2005, called the Church of Tetris, which claimed "all people
should recieve the glory of Tetris" and all against them will be "crushed in a rain of
blocks from on high!"
Currently, of all video game cults, the Church of Captain Falcon is the fastest
growing mainly because of its simple guide lines and because the texts are often based off of Christianity.
Take for example the cults Ten Commandments:
( Click to show/hide )
1. Thou shalt not attack thy opponent without asking them to show you their
moves, or to COME ON!
2. Thou shalt not attack a taunt spammer, for they are the chosen people of the
Captain, and are afforded his sacred protection. Do not harm them, lest you anger
Captain Falcon.
3. Thou shalt not bemoan the Captain's tier standing, and blame him for a loss. It
was not Captain Falcon who was too weak, it was thou.
4. Thou shalt always spam "SHOW ME YA MOVES" whenever the crowd
chants for the Captain, as a sign of acknowledgement to all of his loyal fans. Thou
shalt also spam this taunt if the camera is zoomed in on the Captain from a Tingle
Assist Trophy.
5. Thou shalt let any Kirby who wishes to inhale and copy the Falcon Punch do as
he pleases. However, if thou is attacked by this Kirby, Captain Falcon's swift
judgment must be delivered to him, as he has broken the sacred bond of Master
and Pupil, and shall pay for his foolishness.
6. Thou shalt not land a Falcon Punch or Knee of Justice without immediately
asking thy opponent to show you their moves, unless thou has a chance to perform
a Sacred Combo, in which case the taunt must be performed as soon as thou hast
finished.
7. Thou shalt respect thy father, Ganondorf, as thou would respect a fellow
Captain Falcon.
8. Thou shalt not allow a spammer to not show the Captain their moves if he has
asked them to. If the spammer insists on using the same move, thy fury must be
delivered swiftly and with good aim to the spammer until they agree to show the
Captain the rest of their moves, or are killed.
9. Thou shalt use the Falcon system of measurement.
10. Thou shalt lead children along the path of the Falcon by showing them thy
moves as capably as thou can, and leading them to believe that using Captain
Falcon is the way to victory.
They also have changed several gospel songs (an altered How Great is God):
How great are your moves, show to me
How great are your moves, for Him to see
How great, how great are your moves
Personally, although I find Captain Falcon one of the most awesome things to
grace this planet, I think it's absurd to worship something that doesn't exist.
Reciently, a parody website named Halolz has jumped on this craze and created
several texts from scriptures in the Bible of Captain Falcon from the actual
Christian Bible:
( Click to show/hide )
Many groups have panned this cult for such a ludicrous idol to worship, such as
Brawl in the Family, a popular SSBB webcomic which created a series in parady
of the cult:
( Click to show/hide )
What do you think?
Last edited by samejamesbond; 04-01-2010 at 02:11 PM..
To answer the original question posed in the poll, I think it is only okay to worship a fictional character if the character is the Lord James T Kirk. To worship other characters would be blasphemous (except for James Bond which might be forgivable or Captain Picard which is totally understandable).
Video game characters really shouldn't be worshipped (unless its Johnny Cage or Ken Masters). Amen!
what? no pitfall harry? no ryu hayabusa? no duke nukem?
Okay, I forgot to mention Ryu Hayabusa. He is totally cool, and the Dragon Sword rocks, so that's okay too.
Duke Nukem wouldn't want to be worshipped. It would be too time consuming and would take him away from ladies and killin' (and lady killin'), so I wouldn't worship him out of respect to Duke.
Pitfall Harry, he's cool, but gators devour him so easily, I would be more inclined to worship them than him.
Last edited by Winnebagel; 04-02-2010 at 11:01 AM..
No offense but why would anyone worship an overhyped metro sexual vampire/demon/whatever the hell he is or an absurd, overly sexualized girl from a retarded game?
At least Kratos is a badass who literally kills gods.
There is always going to be someone worshipping something fictional. At least with the established religions that people follow, its as far as we know not fictional.
I mean it was scientifically and chronologically proven That Jesus did exist. I wont go into religious beliefs of my own one way or another, but fanatics are everywhere no matter what we are talking about. There will be a cult worshipping this comet or that tree or something or other whether it be a "made up" charector or not.
I guess my point is, is that everyone needs something to believe in, just dont try and get me to.
Well I'm not sure where I got my Information, I believe it was the history channel. But I was sure that it was a known fact that he did at least exist as a man. The more I think about it i do believe it was the history channel. But yeah proven that he did exist, but not wheter or not he was divine. I mean I knopw they have the shroud of (T-word) in exhibit. I mean I would have to do some research for you to find out exactly where it was that I gotr that.
But that isnt even what matters, I'm just sayin that even If i dont think its right to worship a fictional charecter, that everyone needs something to hold onto to get them through their day. Even if its that you dont beleive in any divinity, well then most people strongly hold onto that. That there isnt anything out htere ya know.
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