Robot
06-29-2010, 10:10 PM
http://www.1up.com/media?id=3827515&type=lgIn the summertime, adults drift into nostalgic memories about carefree months spent at the cottage, the beach, and at the sandlot. I, on the other hand, remember the hours I spent curling myself into a bitter little ball so my mother couldn't physically force me outdoors and into that blinding, baking world filled with dried-out grass and the bleary drone of cicadas.
I still find the sun offensive, which I credit to a streak of Carpathian heritage on my father's side. But as a kid, I still appreciated summertime for liberating me from homework and giving me some intimate time with video games. I well remember the games I used to take over to friends' houses during my vacation months. We'd shelter in air-conditioned basements until it became cool enough to venture outside. Even now, I can't help but associate a handful of titles with those hot, lazy days.
One of my "summer games" is Skate or Die (http://www.1up.com/do/gameOverview?cId=3131364) for the NES.
Skate or Die was initially developed by EA for about ten million computer platforms. Konami, under cover as Ultra Games, ported it to the NES. Skate or Die was an open-ended skateboarding game, a very fitting theme for 1987. And it certainly fulfilled the cultural obligation expected of entertainment at the time, which was simply to be rad to the max.
Even if you weren't big into skateboarding--and I've never been a huge fan thanks to seeing too many friends shatter their wrists--Skate or Die was worth owning just so you could access the greatest video game intro theme of all time. Don't argue. Just listen.
Fans of Skate or Die for the Commodore 64 will still go to war over the supposed superiority of the C64's intro theme. I decline comment; judge for yourself, and enjoy the light show.
Skate or Die starred you, a skateboarder with wicked shades. Once you started the game and signed up to compete, you were thrust into some kind of lawless skateboarding Olympics where the laws of gravity didn't apply and the living envied the dead.
Okay, that's a touch hyperbolic, but Skate or Die demanded a lot more of you than just, "Make the skateboard go." The events included "Downhill Race," which required you to get from Point A to Point B while enduring a lot of retro slang; "Joust," which involved skating around an empty pool and hitting your rival with something like a giant Q-Tip; the "Freestyle" competition, wherein you performed airborne tricks and sometimes landed hard enough to make your safety equipment fly off; "High Jump," which took me years to figure out (you press left and right on the d-pad to rock across the half-pipe until you kiss the sky); and "Jam," which challenged you to skateboard-bound brawl with a deviant kid named Lester.
A word about Lester. I don't know if his family qualifies as "broken," but they do seem to come from a long line of carny folk. Lester's father, Rodney, is the first character you see after pressing the "Start" button. I am not ashamed to admit that the sight of that bemowhawked middle-age man staring at me with his dead eyes was almost enough to drive me to hit the power button. Then I figured out I was supposed to "navigate" Rodney's skate shop by moving around a cursor and prompting him to talk to me about the skateboard paraphernalia scattered around his store. Once his permanently-affixed , blank black word balloon actually filled with words, he didn't seem like such a bad guy. He was just odd.
But "odd" pretty much sums up Skate or Die. Its mini game-style setup kept the action cool without getting too boring or too intense; all you could really do was boast your high score, then try to beat it. Or you could just enter "practice" mode and play the games for fun, passing the controller back and forth among friends, your mind far away from teachers and homework. Nothing wrong with that.
The Skate or Die universe was simply too far out to be contained in one game, so I'm obligated to talk about 1990's Skate or Die 2 (http://www.1up.com/do/gameOverview?cId=3131365), even if it doesn't count among my "summer games" list. Skate or Die 2: The Search for Double Trouble, also known as Skate or Die 2: Skaters Versus THE MAN, was an action-adventure game with a little more structure than its predecessor. It also had a surprising amount of digitized speech, which was completely necessary to relay the game's harrowing story. After you carelessly skateboard over the poodle belonging to the Mayor's wife(!!!) , she henpecks her husband into banning skateboards in the city. Cue the aforementioned speech bytes ("No way dude!" "Bummer!" "Far out!") and a wicked-plus theme song. You knew the original opening theme was begging for lyrics, right? Well...
Skate or Die 2's "Adventure" mode featured four levels of platforming on a skateboard, which was pretty much the train wreck it sounds like it'd be. But the game also had a sense of humor. Level two involved getting a part-time job and making deliveries in a mall--on your skateboard, of course. Some of your clients included "Pups on a Pike," "Pizza by the Ton," and "Kafka's Candies" (Delicious and Alienating).
http://www.1up.com/media?id=3827512&type=lgBut Skate or Die 2's shining feature was its stand-alone "Ramp" mode. Basically an upgrade of the "Freeystyle" competition in the first game, you could access the Ramp on the game's title screen and perform stunts to your heart's content--or at least until you screwed up three times.
And if you performed well, you'd court the love of a red-headed giantess.
The seasons have a habit of cycling 'round and 'round, and as it so happens, summer has made its sizzling return. If you're interested in your own Skate or Die "summer game" experience, hit up the Wii's Virtual Console!...if you live in Europe or Australia. North America has yet to receive the game. Which, if you ask me, is totally non-non-non-non-non heinous.
http://www.1up.com/do/blogEntry?bId=9035636
I still find the sun offensive, which I credit to a streak of Carpathian heritage on my father's side. But as a kid, I still appreciated summertime for liberating me from homework and giving me some intimate time with video games. I well remember the games I used to take over to friends' houses during my vacation months. We'd shelter in air-conditioned basements until it became cool enough to venture outside. Even now, I can't help but associate a handful of titles with those hot, lazy days.
One of my "summer games" is Skate or Die (http://www.1up.com/do/gameOverview?cId=3131364) for the NES.
Skate or Die was initially developed by EA for about ten million computer platforms. Konami, under cover as Ultra Games, ported it to the NES. Skate or Die was an open-ended skateboarding game, a very fitting theme for 1987. And it certainly fulfilled the cultural obligation expected of entertainment at the time, which was simply to be rad to the max.
Even if you weren't big into skateboarding--and I've never been a huge fan thanks to seeing too many friends shatter their wrists--Skate or Die was worth owning just so you could access the greatest video game intro theme of all time. Don't argue. Just listen.
Fans of Skate or Die for the Commodore 64 will still go to war over the supposed superiority of the C64's intro theme. I decline comment; judge for yourself, and enjoy the light show.
Skate or Die starred you, a skateboarder with wicked shades. Once you started the game and signed up to compete, you were thrust into some kind of lawless skateboarding Olympics where the laws of gravity didn't apply and the living envied the dead.
Okay, that's a touch hyperbolic, but Skate or Die demanded a lot more of you than just, "Make the skateboard go." The events included "Downhill Race," which required you to get from Point A to Point B while enduring a lot of retro slang; "Joust," which involved skating around an empty pool and hitting your rival with something like a giant Q-Tip; the "Freestyle" competition, wherein you performed airborne tricks and sometimes landed hard enough to make your safety equipment fly off; "High Jump," which took me years to figure out (you press left and right on the d-pad to rock across the half-pipe until you kiss the sky); and "Jam," which challenged you to skateboard-bound brawl with a deviant kid named Lester.
A word about Lester. I don't know if his family qualifies as "broken," but they do seem to come from a long line of carny folk. Lester's father, Rodney, is the first character you see after pressing the "Start" button. I am not ashamed to admit that the sight of that bemowhawked middle-age man staring at me with his dead eyes was almost enough to drive me to hit the power button. Then I figured out I was supposed to "navigate" Rodney's skate shop by moving around a cursor and prompting him to talk to me about the skateboard paraphernalia scattered around his store. Once his permanently-affixed , blank black word balloon actually filled with words, he didn't seem like such a bad guy. He was just odd.
But "odd" pretty much sums up Skate or Die. Its mini game-style setup kept the action cool without getting too boring or too intense; all you could really do was boast your high score, then try to beat it. Or you could just enter "practice" mode and play the games for fun, passing the controller back and forth among friends, your mind far away from teachers and homework. Nothing wrong with that.
The Skate or Die universe was simply too far out to be contained in one game, so I'm obligated to talk about 1990's Skate or Die 2 (http://www.1up.com/do/gameOverview?cId=3131365), even if it doesn't count among my "summer games" list. Skate or Die 2: The Search for Double Trouble, also known as Skate or Die 2: Skaters Versus THE MAN, was an action-adventure game with a little more structure than its predecessor. It also had a surprising amount of digitized speech, which was completely necessary to relay the game's harrowing story. After you carelessly skateboard over the poodle belonging to the Mayor's wife(!!!) , she henpecks her husband into banning skateboards in the city. Cue the aforementioned speech bytes ("No way dude!" "Bummer!" "Far out!") and a wicked-plus theme song. You knew the original opening theme was begging for lyrics, right? Well...
Skate or Die 2's "Adventure" mode featured four levels of platforming on a skateboard, which was pretty much the train wreck it sounds like it'd be. But the game also had a sense of humor. Level two involved getting a part-time job and making deliveries in a mall--on your skateboard, of course. Some of your clients included "Pups on a Pike," "Pizza by the Ton," and "Kafka's Candies" (Delicious and Alienating).
http://www.1up.com/media?id=3827512&type=lgBut Skate or Die 2's shining feature was its stand-alone "Ramp" mode. Basically an upgrade of the "Freeystyle" competition in the first game, you could access the Ramp on the game's title screen and perform stunts to your heart's content--or at least until you screwed up three times.
And if you performed well, you'd court the love of a red-headed giantess.
The seasons have a habit of cycling 'round and 'round, and as it so happens, summer has made its sizzling return. If you're interested in your own Skate or Die "summer game" experience, hit up the Wii's Virtual Console!...if you live in Europe or Australia. North America has yet to receive the game. Which, if you ask me, is totally non-non-non-non-non heinous.
http://www.1up.com/do/blogEntry?bId=9035636