Being confronted in college... [Archive]

samejamesbond

10-17-2010, 03:56 AM

Earlier today a guy I never met before in my life approached me claiming I was
bothering his girlfriend and made it clear he wasn't happy about it.

I was completely confused which made it worse, I know his girlfriend because she
lives down the hall and all I do is say hi or have a casual conversation with her. I
never made any moves on her because I thought she was dating another guy at the
dorm and that wouldn't be the right thing to do.

I even told him if she had any problem with me, I would completely understand,
but he then told me that I would deal with him if anything went wrong.

I never had anything like this happen to me before, so I have no clue what to do...

I appreciate any help you guys can give me.

Slime Slayer

10-17-2010, 04:18 AM

Weird, just don't talk to her anymore I guess.

Tails

10-17-2010, 04:52 AM

I honestly wouldn't know what to do myself, Cassidy's seems most logical.

Slime Slayer

10-17-2010, 05:13 AM

Am I correct in assuming this guy might be tougher than you? There's a good chance that he's blowing this thing out of proportion to make himself look like a tough guy on campus, at your expense.
There's always the option of screwing him over via some sort of prank, make sure it's fool proof that you won't get caught. You could put a little poop on his door knob, inject some super glue into the lock on his door, find the fuse box and cut his power regularly... these are just of the top of my head, I'm sure we could come up with something great collectively.

Whatever you do remember that this is college, the funnest time of your life, don't let some retard ruin it for you.

DrunkN

10-17-2010, 05:16 AM

DAG EM!

No, don't actually do that. Just avoid unnecessary conversations with her. Cassidy knows the ladies.

Kugyince

10-17-2010, 07:53 AM

Dude sounds hyper possessive. There's hundreds of chickas on campus, just stay away from this one.

Demon-Mask

10-17-2010, 12:23 PM

You could always kick the guy's ass.
Or try to figure it out logically with the guy, explain that you are not messing around with his girlfriend.
You could just avoid them both altogether as well.

There are a lot of things that you could do, it just depends on what is more fitting to you.

kiwinavega

10-17-2010, 01:21 PM

Not worth getting grief over. I suppose if it was me and I was quite annoyed, I'd probably catch them both together and actually make it clear that a) she didn't interest me b) he didn't intimidate me and c) that I have better things to do than get involved with people so unhinged they want to try and create something out of nothing to feed their own egos and self importance. Of course, it could be that this girl is one of those who gets her kicks out of getting guys to act macho on her behalf and has completely fabricated something. It's a way of exercising control by manipulating others. Most girls aren't like this.

Whatever you do - or don't do - don't sweat it. Life is full of people who will try and bring you down in one way or another. The best thing to do in my view is remind yourself that they probably behave like that as they are insecure and unhappy. Do things to make yourself happy and at peace, it's the best way not to become a jerk.

One other thing - you know that saying? The best way to fight fire is with fire? It is complete nonsense. Fight fire with water.

Kong

10-17-2010, 01:24 PM

1. Can he most likely kick your ass?
2. Do you care about this girl?

If first is yes and second is no, then easy, just tell them to screw off and never talk to you again. If you have different answers to those questions then it gets more tricky.

Either way, unless you did something creepy, then either the girl is playing some kind of catty game or the guy is playing some kind of macho game or both, and you shouldn't want any part of that.

jim5cents

10-17-2010, 01:42 PM

Did he look like this?

http://thebothanspy.com/bothanusers/01contest/090806.rp.Biff%20Tannen.jpg

First, the guy sounds like a tool. Second, any girl that would date a tool isn't worth it.

To go along with Cassidy's prank ideas, if his door opens in, then you lean a bucket of water/mud/iodine/bleach against the door.

elrod21

10-17-2010, 03:07 PM

I say it is best to just avoid the girl and him. As was already said there are lots of other people there for you to relate to.

StarfoxFan2009

10-17-2010, 03:51 PM

I would just avoid them or if he gets in your face again just walk away. If he punches you you could always call the police or security and have him sent away. I hope this is the only confrontation you encounter

CatalystiCam

10-17-2010, 04:44 PM

I'm only in high school and it's all just messing around and generally a big joke. If you treat the bugging as a joke and joke around in return then people won't bother you but you treat it badly and flip out and go insane over it than that might be just what they're looking for. People like to pick on the weak links... A lot of people so you can't be one of those weak links.

However, this case seems to be different and personally I wouldn't jump to any conclusions either way. Wait it out, act like you don't care for starters and if it stops then that means he was probably just toying with you.

There is the possibility that it is serious and this guy is one of those super protective jocks and best not mess with those scenarios.

Also the possibility that he just likes to fight and will do anything to get in fights.

Edit: this is my best guesses, I've never encountered a situation like this but I have encountered a lot of others that wound up being people seeing if they can toy with me as it is my first year here because I moved.

samejamesbond

10-17-2010, 05:21 PM

Thanks guys, I decided to just act normal, if she says hi I'll just say hi, but avoid major
conversation unless it's serious, and I'd appologize if she was offended.

As for him, I'll just be friendly and if things get worse, my friends have told me they'd help me out.

Dudebro

10-17-2010, 08:12 PM

Time to play devils advocate, someone has to eventually.
all I do is say hi or have a casual conversation with her
It might seem casual and innocent to you but maybe she's uncomfortable and too shy to let you know that. Perhaps she caught you checking out her rack or maybe you just gave off some body language you weren't aware of.

I've seen this happen plenty of times and the guy is almost always completely unaware of how creepy he seems to the girl. Naturally she'd tell her boyfriend and he'd feel obligated to defend her, I know I would. If that's what's happening then it really wouldn't be your fault, we're all just human. My advice is the same as everyone else - avoid them both and let them be miserable together.

samejamesbond

10-17-2010, 10:08 PM

Now I'm really confused, today she walked up to my room (which she knows is mine) and had
a casual conversation with my roommate.

If she was really bothered by me, wouldn't she avoid me at all costs?

Unless he's making up the story...

Dudebro

10-17-2010, 10:19 PM

Maybe she was testing you to see if you ignored her bf? She might just be trying to get guys to fight over her. Either way I'd just completely ignore her. Bonus points if that pisses her off.

samejamesbond

10-17-2010, 10:23 PM

My RA just pulled me out of my room to talk with her, she admited she was friends with me
but felt that I was trying to date her while she still had a boyfriend and felt unconfirtable.

I told her I had no idea, and I appologized and told her if she feels that way it'd be better if we
didn't keep it to ourselves to prevent another mess like this.

She told me that she'll straigten out her boyfriend, she admited he's overprotective.

Dudebro

10-17-2010, 10:43 PM

I hate to say I told you so but, I told you so. :)

samejamesbond

10-17-2010, 10:45 PM

Of Course you were.
Never said you were wrong did I?

jim5cents

10-17-2010, 10:46 PM

Yeah, you should still prank him.

Slime Slayer

10-17-2010, 10:47 PM

A little poop on the doorknob won't hurt.

samejamesbond

10-17-2010, 10:55 PM

Yeah, that's a smart idea...
Causing problems when everything is fine.

Dudebro

10-17-2010, 10:55 PM

If you are gonna prank him I'd wait a little while so you aren't so fresh on his mind.

Btw why did your RA pull you out to talk about it? I'm just curious if you said something or one of them.

samejamesbond

10-17-2010, 10:56 PM

I told my friends about it, he just happened to be in the room.

Dudebro

10-17-2010, 11:01 PM

I dunno, that might've been a bad move. If this guy is already an overprotective douchebag he might really have a problem with you if he thinks you went to someone with authority(lol I know but still). I could be wrong but I figured I should warn you either way.

CatalystiCam

10-17-2010, 11:37 PM

it's true, people are retards, I got stabbed last year for no reason (yes, no reason) and my parents flipped, tried to charge the kid and everyone hated me for the entire year. They assumed I went to my parents, but kind of hard to hide that :-/

Slime Slayer

10-18-2010, 12:08 AM

Tails

10-18-2010, 07:37 AM

joz

10-18-2010, 08:12 AM

if you ever feel like you're in a really tight spot, you could always do this

NSFW
1508

Dudebro

10-18-2010, 12:52 PM

@DB: Jeez, nice going.
What did I do?

RU Joe

10-18-2010, 04:01 PM

It sounds like this guy is an insecure control freak - but you know ..

Some girls get enjoyment through pitting their boyfriend against other guys deliberately.
The most extreme case I heard of was a friend of mine being confronted by someone in traffic - this couple in the car behind him took exception to him, so he pulled over to see what the issue was.

As it turned out, the guy's girlfriend wanted to see him fight a big guy {which my friend was} and so that's exactly what she got - although her boyfriend ended up getting beaten up by my friend.
I guess she underestimated her boyfriend.

Slime Slayer

10-18-2010, 04:35 PM

Like someone mentioned earlier, it's most likely the girls immaturity rather than the guys. If my wife told me that someone was bothering her, I would confront him, it's just the guys job.

CatalystiCam

10-18-2010, 05:00 PM

I thought he just tried to stab you, with his pencil.

No he did stab me. Yeah it was a pencil, went about an inch maybe more into my skin about 12 times, and there was no provoking on my end whatsoever. In retrospect I would have just beaten the living crap out of the retard but I guess I was just shocked. My parents made the freakout. But whatever. I could care less what all those kids thought, going to this school this year makes me realise how extremely effed up my school was last year.

jim5cents

10-18-2010, 10:59 PM